With and Without (Miraculous One-Shot)
by MiraculouslyTrashy
Summary: A short addition to Desparada


"I'm sorry I couldn't be much help to you today, Ladybug" Adrien laments later that night when Ladybug stopped by to check on him after the Desperada attacks.

"Don't worry about it. Maybe one day I'll find the right Miraculous for you." She assures him, hanging onto the outside of his open window.

Adrien ducks his head slightly, "Yeah, maybe." He keeps his eyes turned down, something that Ladybug notices.

She leans a little closer through his window, "Is it true, what you said earlier? About trying to save me from Desperada for... months? How can that be?" She questions, slightly concerned.

He shrugs dismissively, "Turns out all those 5-minute intervals really add up."

Ladybug blinks wordlessly, trying to wrap her mind around how much time Adrien spent trying to protect her, over and over again. "You, you didn't have to," she finally stammers.

He smirks, looking up at her perched against his window, silhouetted by the rising moon and warm glow of streetlights below. "I just wanted to prove you could trust me."

"I do trust you, that's why I gave you the Snake Miraculous."

"And I couldn't even save you from Desperada once!" He grumbles, throwing himself onto his bed.

Ladybug instantly climbs through the window and goes to his side. She hesitates before sitting on his bed, opting to kneel on the floor instead. "We got her in the end, don't beat yourself up over this." She pats his shoulder.

He rolls over and looks up at her, "I watched you get captured 25,913 times. Each one of them was my fault," he touches her hand on his shoulder, causing Ladybug to freeze up. The exhaustion of the ordeal seemed to catch up with Adrien suddenly, his muscles releasing the tension built up inside them, closing his eyes "I watched the love of my life disappear into a cloud of dust 25,913 times." He murmurs absentmindedly.

Ladybug retracts her hand from under his, causing Adrien's eyes to fly open. "What did you say?" Ladybug asks breathlessly, not blinking.

He reflexively reaches down to his wrist to turn back time on a Miraculous he's no longer wearing. Realizing the situation, he considers his next words for a moment, deciding which way to take the conversation. His green eyes eventually wander over to hers. "I said 'I love you', but really, you already knew that,"

Ladybug feels her breath catch in her throat, "Wh-wha, uh, no, I didn't, I wasn't aware y-you felt that way," she stammers, her heart pounding against her chest. Her mind wanders: '_When he said he loved someone else, was that other person Ladybug this whole time? Me?_'

Adrien sits up and turns to face her, "I told you things, when I was Aspik. Things I halfway hoped you would remember if we defeated Desperada together, but obviously that wasn't the case."

"T-things like, 'you love me'?"

He nods, "Yeah... and something else," he struggles to keep his eyes on her, forcing his worries away.

Ladybug is suddenly struck with worry, '_How can there be something riskier than admitting that he loves Ladybug? What could he possibly say?_'

She leans away from him slightly, "Um, don't feel obligated to share what you said as Aspik, it's not a-a big deal."

He shakes his head, gripping the sheet on his bed, "I regret almost everything I did as Aspik, everything except telling you that I love you, and that..." He takes a deep breath and grabs her hands in his, "I'm Chat Noir"

Her eyes search his face for further explanation as the silence hangs between them. Her lips purse in thought, "You... you think that the Cat Miraculous is better suited for you than the Snake? Is that what you mean? Like, maybe, but it belongs to _Chat_-"

"No, Ladybug," he urges gently, slightly amused by her thought process, "I _am _Chat Noir. I'm your partner, it's me behind the mask. I know that you didn't want us to- uh, M'lady?" He cuts himself off after seeing Ladybug's blue eyes blown wide, seemingly frozen. He tentatively reaches up to hold the side of her face, making her blink back to the present, "I'm sorry, I had to tell you, after everything I did as Aspik I need you to know I'd do anything for you.

"You don't have to tell me your identity, but I needed to tell you mine. So, you know I'm here for you with and without the mask." He finishes filling the space with his words, hoping Ladybug will say something.

Her mind flashes through every interaction she's had with Chat Noir, as Ladybug and Marinette. She suddenly feels a great urge to drop her disguise and throw herself at him, but also an urge to throw herself out the window. The brief euphoria of Adrien say he loves her was immediately replaced by a daze.

"Ladybug? Please, don't be mad at me," Adrien hopes, afraid that her silence stemmed from underlying fury.

Her jaw trembles slightly, "I-I'm not mad, just... wasn't ready to hear those things," she rises to her feet and sits on the bed next to him, leaving a comfortable distance between them.

He retracts from her immediately, closing in on himself, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize- I didn't mean to upset you, I-"

Ladybug puts a hand on his knee, "I'm just...processing." She says, struggling to find the path forward. "Can we go back a step or two,"

Adrien perks up slightly, "Of course!"

As she forms her next sentence in her head, she can't help the small smile that breaks through her previously serious expression, "You _love_ me?" She asks incredulously, feeling the burn of blush in her cheeks.

His heart flutters at her lifted demeanor, "I do. And I'm not asking you to say it back, I know you love someone else, but-"

"I love _you_, Adrien," She confesses with a sigh, she leans closer, "you're the 'someone else'."

Adrien's hand flies to his head in astonishment, "I can't believe this. All this time I was jealous of myself!"

"_You're not the only one to make that mistake,_" she mutters to herself.

He holds her hand, closing the distance she set between them, "May I kiss you?" he asks thoughtfully, patiently.

A shock runs through Ladybug's nervous system, the idea of Adrien kissing her, sending her over the moon. Her lips move to say "_Yes_", but one of the functioning parts of her brain stops her. Her eyes droop to stare at their hands tangled together in their laps. "But, you don't even know who I am." She whispers.

Adrien laughs softly, tilting her chin up to meet his eyes, "But I do know who you are. You're the most amazing, driven, passionate, beautiful, clever-" he gushes before Ladybug cuts him off.

"Adrien."

"Yeah?" A crooked smile curls on his lips, showing off his 'Chat' side.

Ladybug swallows hard, "I, I think I know what you meant earlier, about _having _to tell me you're Chat. I need to tell you who I am if _this _ever wants to become something real." She squeezes his hands and he returns the gesture, "I wouldn't be able to keep you in the dark after all this."

He gives a half-nod, slightly serious, knowing what a big deal it is to Ladybug. "As long as it's your choice. I swear to love you, with and without the mask." He reaches up and runs his thumb over the bottom of her mask where a tear had dropped.

She places both of her hands in her lap, centering herself, knowing the next few seconds would be some of the most important of her life.

"Spots off," she intones, closing her eyes as the flash of pink light engulfs her. Her eyes remain shut, her hands clenching each other in anticipation of his reaction.

Wordlessly, she suddenly feels Adrien's soft breath on her cheek, instinctually knowing his face is inches from hers. His one hand cradles the back of her head while the other covers her hands and relaxes them.

His previous question hangs in the air.

"Yes," she whispers, opening her eyes, causing Adrien's heart to melt at the sight of them.


End file.
